Bihar School of Yoga

My next trip after Bodhgaya was to Munger to visit the Bihar School of Yoga. I arrived there after a challenging train ride. Although, I had booked an air-conditioned sleeper, I had to share my bed with 5 others. Well it is all part of travelling in India, you never know what will happen! Apparently, it is a common practice in the state of Bihar to ride trains without a ticket. Therefore, the trains get jam-packed and you get to sit very close to other passengers. Moreover, I had developed a mouth infection which lowered my immunity immensely. Hence, I was contemplating on changing my ticket to go to Turkey earlier than planned. 

Bihar School of Yoga felt like a big university campus. The main door was always locked and everyone needed a permit from the management to leave the grounds. There were many people from all around the world who were either visiting or living there. Some people had been there for a couple of years. Karma yoga, which is selfless service, is the common practice. Each day, everybody gets assigned different duties in administration, maintenance, arts, garden, kitchen etc. There is limited contact with the outside world.  

My main concern at that time was to get out to see a doctor. I applied for a permit in the morning. I was told that it usually takes a day to get approval, but I thought in health related cases it might be quicker. Well, I was wrong. In the afternoon, I was told that I could not go out till the next day. I was furious and frustrated but had no choice rather than accepting this decision. Then there was a moment of surrender. I could not do anything to change the fact that I was stuck there but accept the moment as it is. I am grateful for this experience which helped me to surrender, probably for the first time in my life. This experience reminded me of the serenity prayer by Reinhold Nieburh which states "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference".

The next day, I was given permission to leave for 4 hours. By the time, I had made up my mind to go back to Turkey earlier and everything from that moment started to flow like clockwork. I went to the doctor and received some antibiotics. Then, rushed to the train station to book a ticket to Patna which is the closest city to Munger with an airport. I also booked a flight to Delhi for the day after and my wife changed the date of my flight to Istanbul. Amazingly, everything was done within 4 hours and I returned to the school for one last night.

City of Patna

I took the train to Patna the next day. When I arrived, my immune system was getting really weak. I ate in an upmarket restaurant as I didn't want to risk another Delhi-belly. I had already lost 4 kilos in 3 weeks and was feeling fragile. I caught a flight to Delhi the next morning. During the flight, I met Prem, a lawyer from Delhi, who was sitting next to me. He kindly offered me a ride as his son was picking him up from the airport. He also helped me to arrange a hotel in a safe area of Delhi which is the world’s second most populous city with more than 22 million people. I had a great last night in India enjoying the luxury of hot water, a comfortable bed and cable TV.         

India is a land of extreme contrast, poverty, challenge and spirituality. I came here in the search of a guru who would help me to find direction in life. Maybe I was looking for short cuts to happiness or enlightenment. I left India with the understanding that I don’t need a guru to show me the path. I am my own guru and am capable of living my life with the guidance from my higher self / divine. India helped me to improve my self confidence and made me more self-reliant. It taught me not to give my power away to other people with the hope of achieving spiritual wisdom. I learned the lessons I needed at this stage of my life. Grateful to have visited this sacred land of wisdom and spirituality. One day, I will be back with a stronger immune system.

Vipassana Meditation at Bodhgaya

Bodhgaya Vipassana Centre was the place where I spent the next 10 days of this incredible adventure in India searching for answers within myself. My first introduction to this meditation technique was more than 8 years ago and it has definitely changed my life. At the time, I was depressed and confused about my direction in life. After a 10 day retreat in Switzerland, I saw the world from a different perspective and made some drastic changes such as starting a new life in Australia. Here are my reflections on this meditation technique. For more information please check the official website at www.dhamma.org.

Mahabodhi Temple

All of us seek happiness, peace and harmony in life yet very few seem to achieve this state. At times we all experience suffering, agitation or disharmony. Eventually we all must face death. The basic problem of life is its unsatisfactory nature. Sometimes things that we do not want happen in our lives, other times we fail to get what we want. So with all this dissatisfaction and suffering how can we live a happy life? 

Since birth, we are conditioned to pay attention to what is happening outside (external reality) yet we never care to know what is really happening within ourselves. A ten day Vipassana meditation course gives you a unique opportunity to explore the body and mind phenomena within the framework of your own self.

Vipassana means “insight into the true nature of reality”. It is one of India’s most ancient techniques of meditation and was found by Buddha in India more than 2500 years ago. Today, this non-sectarian technique is taught by S.N. Goenka around the world. 

Fellow meditators

The philosophy behind the Vipassana meditation is to ACCEPT the reality as it is and understand that CHANGE is happening every second in our lives. This awareness around constant change and the developed equanimity through practice helps us not to be devastated if something bad happens in our lives. Of course, we will be upset for a while but we will have the understanding that this situation will change sooner or later. On the other hand, when something wonderful happens in our lives, we will not develop craving or attachment towards it. We will enjoy it as long as it lasts with the wisdom that it will also end one day. The acceptance of this constant change helps us to deal with the ups and downs of life in a balanced way. Vipassana suggests that we can come out of our misery when we develop awareness and wisdom around change. Each experience we go through in life, pleasant or unpleasant, has the same characteristic of “IMPERMANENCE”.  Why develop attachment or hatred towards something that will sooner or later pass away?     

The intellectual understanding of this constant change however has to be experienced within the framework of body and mind which changes the habit pattern of our minds. This technique focuses on training and controlling the mind that seems almost impossible at the beginning. The task during the first three days is to observe the natural breath flow to develop mental concentration. Although it sounds quite simple, once started, the restless mind seems to be racing from past memories to future anticipations without any logical thought sequence. For me, it was very hard to observe my breath even for a minute without being distracted by thoughts, day dreams, memories and self-talk. I relate to Goenka’s analogy of comparing the mind with a wild monkey jumping from one branch to another continuously. This seems to be the habit pattern of our minds: constantly travelling between the past and the future but never want to stay in PRESENT.

At the end of the third day, my mind was a lot calmer and I was able to observe my breath for extended time periods. The Vipassana meditation starts on the fourth day and involves focusing on the body sensations. Although most people expect some nirvanic peace and harmony, the insights gained by self-observation are not likely to be all pleasant or blissful. Well, you might ask how something like observing your bodily sensations will help you to become an awakened person. This comes through developing AWARENESS and EQUANIMITY. 

After long hours of meditation, the mind gets sharper to pick up any sensation that is happening at that moment within different areas of the body. The next step is not to react to these sensations but to observe them objectively, by being non-judgmental with the understanding of the law of “impermanence”. Of course, it is difficult not to react to some of these sensations such as intense pain due to long hours of sitting still. However, soon you reach a state when you realise that any sensation including severe pain disappears sooner or later and another sensation comes up.  The idea behind this practice is to accept the reality as it is, not as you would like it to be.  

Bodhi Tree

How many times in life were you stuck in situations when unwanted things happened which caused you pain and suffering? Well, here you train your mind to accept the pain with the wisdom that sooner or later it will pass. 

Moreover, how many times have you craved for things which did not happen and you felt disappointed, sad or even depressed? Everything around us and in the universe is constantly changing including our physical body, thoughts, emotions and feelings. Through practice of Vipassana, you experience this constant change within the framework of your own body and mind and realise how attachments to different things, whether material or immaterial creates nothing but misery. If we can develop an understanding of this constant change and accept that nothing in life is permanent, we can end dissatisfaction and misery in our lives and reach a state of happiness.

In a consumerist economy, we are constantly influenced to buy new things whether we need them or not. We are under the impression that if we make certain amount of money, have a better job or a bigger house, then we will be happy. Unfortunately, it is never enough. We are always on the run to get something better, nicer, or bigger but we rarely show gratitude for what we already have. Maybe it is time to shift our focus from the external to internal reality before we destroy the whole world with our greed. Each one of us can make a difference with our choices. 

This technique helps me to live a happier life. Although I still react to the misfortunes of life, I seem to have a calmer and more balanced mind. We are responsible for the reactions that cause our suffering. By accepting this responsibility we can learn how to eliminate it.   

My experience during those 10 days was volatile. It was a journey of bliss, gratitude, anxiety, doubt and worry. I had doubts about the technique and questions around what I was doing there. The mind plays all kind of tricks to stop you when you penetrate deeper into the subconscious. At the end of the course, I felt happy, joyful and light. I also met many wonderful people both from India and all around the world. After the course, we made a trip to the Maha Bodhi temple and meditated together under the Bodhi tree like Buddha did many years ago. To find out more on mindfulness, please check my website "Conscious Beginnings" 

Shopping with friends

In Bodhgaya, I stayed in an ashram with some friends, Yorgos, Marc and Silver, whom I met during the retreat. After lunch and a great chai, we organised our permits to stay in the Mahabodhi temple overnight with the hope of enlightenment. We rented some mosquito nets where we could sleep in or meditate without getting eaten alive by hungry mosquitoes. Malaria exists in India, so nets are highly recommended.

There were about 8 of us meditating/sleeping under the sacred Bodhi tree, including two Vietnamese nuns who were reflecting pure love and joy. After a couple of hours of meditation, I fell asleep. Was I enlightened in the morning? Maybe not quite there yet but it was an enlightening experience.

After a nice cold shower in the ashram and breakfast with Marc and Yorgos, it was time to say goodbye to my friends and to this sacred land. The next adventure was waiting for me at the Bihar School of Yoga.

The Holy Country: India

I said goodbye to my lovely wife in Hong Kong, as she did not want to come to India. Instead, she flew to Paris to be with her family. I was anxious to travel on my own, as Alex was the main driving force behind the planning of our trip. Once again, I was presented another challenge to face my fear and anxiety. And here I was in Kolkata on my own.

Streets of Kolkata

My flight landed on the 14^th of April 2013 at 10:50pm. I went straight to the hotel to get some rest after a long flight. The room was very basic but clean. I have heard some horror stories about Indian hotels but luckily this one was fine. Although it was passed midnight, the weather was extremely hot. Obviously, I went to India in the wrong season with temperatures exceeding 40°C. I couldn't get a good sleep due to boiling heat and strange noises from the ventilator. 

Victoria Memorial in Kolkata

After the check out in the morning, I started to walk around in Kolkata to get a sim card. I managed to get one within 2 hours. An incredible amount of paperwork is a part of the daily routine in India, even for simple things. However, people are very friendly, polite and helpful. To celebrate my sim card victory, I went to a middle class Punjabi restaurant and had some dahl, roti and rice. What a divine taste! 

Mother Theresa

In the afternoon, I visited Mother Theresa’s house which was turned into a museum. She left her home and family in Skopje, Macedonia and came to India to help others. She established many refuge places for the poorest all around the world. She dedicated her life to serve humanity and help the most vulnerable. An incredible soul!

On my way to the Victoria Memorial from Mother Theresa's house, I witnessed the immense poverty in Kolkata! Families with small children were simply living on the streets and begging for help. This experience made me realise how difficult Mother Theresa’s mission must have been. I lived in different countries and travelled around but have not seen anything like this in my life. There are not just a couple of people living on the streets but whole communities. Children covered in dust and dirt, try to kiss your feet or hold your hand with the hope of a small donation. It was truly heart breaking to witness this much suffering, poverty and pain. Unfortunately, this is part of reality in India.   

My first day was almost over in this interesting city and I had to catch an overnight train to Gaya Junction in the state of Bihar to attend a 10 day Vipassana meditation course. After an average dinner in a local restaurant, I made my way to one of the busy train stations in Kolkata. When I got there, I realised that my train was delayed for 8 hours and was due the next morning at 7am. I can understand 1-2 hours of delay but seriously 8 hours was just too much! Train delays are part of daily life in India. Thankfully, I was told to go to Hawra Junction to catch another train going to the same direction leaving in 45 minutes. Rather than spending the night at the station, I took a taxi to try my chances. Usually trains in India are booked out from weeks ago. Luckily, I was able to get a sleeper and happy to leave for another adventure. If you are travelling in India by train, a useful website to check out is seat 61.

It took 8 hours to reach the Gaya Junction and I slept most of the time. When I got off however I had to run to the nearest toilet due to Delhi-belly. I literally made it just in time! You need to be very careful with food in India as I have not met a single person who did not get sick while they were there. Keep smiling as it is all part of travelling! 

From Gaya, I had to catch a rickshaw to get to Bodhgaya. Rickshaw is a very common transport method where you get to meet lots of locals as more than eight people jammed in a three-wheeled cart with absolutely no space to breath. A truly unique experience! 

Bodhgaya is the place where Gautama Buddha is said to have obtained enlightenment while he was meditating under a Bodhi tree. Since then this little village became a pilgrimage destination for the Buddhist and spiritual seekers around the world. After a long trip, I was happy to arrive at the meditation centre and felt excited to start another 10 days of silent journey into my unconscious mind in this holy land.

Colourful Hong Kong!

Hong Kong by night

Hong Kong was the most developed city we have been in Asia. The transportation system was amazingly efficient. It felt like being in a science fiction movie after visiting Vietnam. We took the airport train and reached the city within half an hour. The owner of our small apartment which was booked through Airbnb was already waiting for us. Airbnb is a website where people rent out lodging and private rooms and sometimes it can be the best option to get affordable accommodation, especially in Hong Kong where the hotels are very expensive. Our room was around 10 square metres with a double bed and a bathroom. It probably was the smallest place I ever stayed in. Not a good idea if you are claustrophobic! 

Saturday morning in Hong Kong

Joyful Alex at the light show

Hong Kong is a colourful and vibrant city. It has a lot of skyscrapers and great areas to explore. The Victoria Peak and Tsim Sha Tsui district are attractive tourist destinations. Daily at 8pm, there is the “World’s Largest and Permanent Light and Sound Show” (Guinness World Records) which is a perfect symphony of lights and music at the Victoria Harbour. It is a spectacular event that you can’t miss if you ever visit this exciting city. 

More tourist attractions include the Big Buddha, Soho and some small fisherman villages. There are plenty of markets to explore for shopping enthusiasts. We visited a nice jade market to get some presents for our families.

Doors at the Big Buddha

Cheung Chau is a nice little island where you can spend a full day. It is easy to reach by ferry. It was nice to leave crowded and busy Hong Kong behind for a couple of hours to enjoy hiking on this peaceful island. In Cheung Chau, we visited a small village and the Tin Hau Temple which was a tranquil place for meditation or receiving predictions about your future through Chinese fortune sticks.  

Friendly fish from Cheung Chau

During our time in this animated city, we caught up with Marie whom we met in Halong Bay tour in Vietnam. She is originally from France but lives and works in Hong Kong for the last couple of years. It was great to see her again. Thank you Marie for the fantastic travel tips! 

Dinner with friends

Hong Kong brought up some deep rooted, unfulfilled desires about not being able to make it to the corporate world. I felt inferior, jealous and bitter after seeing the busy white collar crowd in their expensive suites. I realised that my inner child wanted to be a part of this crowd in order to be acknowledged by my father. 

When I was growing up, it was important for my family that I go to university and get a good job in a reputable company. I started my studies in economics when I was 18, although I was drawn more towards the field of psychology. I wanted to please my parents and fulfil their dreams rather than following my own path.  

Hong Kong Business District

How much do you get influenced by your family, teachers, media and community? Do you know what you really want in life or are you pursuing someone else’s dreams? At the time, I wasn't aware of these processes! I did what I was told. I am sure everyone wanted the best for me from their perspective. Now, I believe that although parental guidance is essential, the children also need to have the freedom to make their own choices.   

My studies in economics took me to different countries and helped me to develop a bigger vision of the world. When I reflect back now, I can see that everything in my life happened for a reason and it was part of a perfect divine plan even though I could not connect the dots back then. I fulfilled my desire of studying psychotherapy in a later stage of my life when the timing was right. I learned to trust the process and go with the flow of life which was not always easy. I believe that our souls constantly guide us to the right direction but we need to quieten our minds to hear these messages. 

Coming back to Hong Kong! This time, I was able to witness my thoughts and emotions as an observer and did not react to them. Developing awareness of our mind chatter through mindfulness practices can help us to break the chain of blind reaction and provides clarity. This clarity then leads to wisdom and change. We all have the option to react to our thoughts (which may not be always true) or observe them as passing clouds without reaction. The choice is yours!

Those 4 days in Hong Kong provided healing for my soul. I was able to see and release some of my old reaction patterns which were formed during my childhood. I know that my father loves me unconditionally. I am also aware that it is difficult for him to show his feelings, which is unfortunately common for many men due to our conditionings. The good news is that change is always possible through conscious effort. Thank you Hong Kong for the entertainment and the opportunity to grow.